Friends or foes
Friendship.
I'm writing this post for closure, for something to mark the end of this chapter. I've been feeling too much, and I guess I have to express it out if not I will just burst someday, but after this post there won't be any feelings left.
Everything has happened too fast. To me, you're one of my most trusted friend, so I make sure I'm always there for you whenever you needed me, to give you all the support I can. I refused to believe that you will treat me like that, 3 years plus of friendship, it can't be. Sent you the first msg, hoping that things will be alright, sent you the second msg, hoping that our friendship will see us through, sent you the third msg, hoping that you would at least give me a reply. You wanted to end this, I still can't believe, I didn't know what to do. It's gonna be okay in school, but when you guys changed our places without even infoming us, I know how stupid we are to still trust our friendship will be strong enough to overcome everything. The way Py and I were ignored by you guys, really scares me up till now. Heard many nasty things about what you said about me, I thought you only wanted clique's support. I decided to just take it and shut up, cause i believed that though our friendship may end, but still you will never ever betray me like that, I trusted you. Then it was not only clique, more people started to bitch about it. What got me down real hard is that you actually used those that you had disliked and bitched about most to help you achieve what you want, for them to believe that I was the one at fault and to support you, for 'explaining' to everyone, except to us. I can't believe that's you. It really got me wondering what am I doing all this while, who am I actually facing? I've never ever done a single thing you said, I don't value my friends by how rich their family are, and about the xiao bai lian thing, I can only say I respect my friends' parents. I've never imagined that you will one day betray me like that. But still I choose to take it and shut up, because I still have a slight hope that we can still remain as friends. I admit i'm such a weakling, crying almost everyday, each time I know something new that you said, I can't help but hide some place and cry. I've been taking all the shit you said, cause I don't have any energy left in defending myself, i'm too tired of all these. I thought we're in a war, and both sides are bleeding. But I finally realised that i'm the only one who's bleeding, you seem so much happier that I'm caught up by this bitching. It then make me realised how stupid I am, you've already let go, I'm the one who can't give up on you and let go. It was really a lesson learned the hard way, a huge wake up call.
Sorry Py, i'm really guilty that I've gotten you into this. I can't describe how grateful I am to you, thanks for believing in me.
Sorry Joy, for keep getting sad and crying and needing you to cheer me up. At first, I don't understand why you can't understand how sad I am, it's like one of my best friend had betrayed me of course I am very sad. Who will be happy when you're accused with things you've never done? I feel so helpless. But after ytd's quarrel with you, I can finally understand why, like yeah now looking back, I don't understand why was I so sad too, why do i keep crying over it, why do I even freaking bother about those who no longer make up part of my life, those who can't wait to see me die, those who I don't care anymore. Don't worry darling, I've xiang tong alot. I will adopt your heck care attitude from now! I promise you I won't be sad over those stupid things anymore.
They say humans do forgive, but we don't forget. I've choose not to forgive nor forget, cause I don't even want to remember. Nothing to forget, nothing to remember in the first place, cause it's really not worth it. Don't have to act strong anymore, cause I won't even mention you guys again, will keep those sad stuff away from my memory. I would rather choose happiness.
I've finally moved on.
I'm writing this post for closure, for something to mark the end of this chapter. I've been feeling too much, and I guess I have to express it out if not I will just burst someday, but after this post there won't be any feelings left.
Everything has happened too fast. To me, you're one of my most trusted friend, so I make sure I'm always there for you whenever you needed me, to give you all the support I can. I refused to believe that you will treat me like that, 3 years plus of friendship, it can't be. Sent you the first msg, hoping that things will be alright, sent you the second msg, hoping that our friendship will see us through, sent you the third msg, hoping that you would at least give me a reply. You wanted to end this, I still can't believe, I didn't know what to do. It's gonna be okay in school, but when you guys changed our places without even infoming us, I know how stupid we are to still trust our friendship will be strong enough to overcome everything. The way Py and I were ignored by you guys, really scares me up till now. Heard many nasty things about what you said about me, I thought you only wanted clique's support. I decided to just take it and shut up, cause i believed that though our friendship may end, but still you will never ever betray me like that, I trusted you. Then it was not only clique, more people started to bitch about it. What got me down real hard is that you actually used those that you had disliked and bitched about most to help you achieve what you want, for them to believe that I was the one at fault and to support you, for 'explaining' to everyone, except to us. I can't believe that's you. It really got me wondering what am I doing all this while, who am I actually facing? I've never ever done a single thing you said, I don't value my friends by how rich their family are, and about the xiao bai lian thing, I can only say I respect my friends' parents. I've never imagined that you will one day betray me like that. But still I choose to take it and shut up, because I still have a slight hope that we can still remain as friends. I admit i'm such a weakling, crying almost everyday, each time I know something new that you said, I can't help but hide some place and cry. I've been taking all the shit you said, cause I don't have any energy left in defending myself, i'm too tired of all these. I thought we're in a war, and both sides are bleeding. But I finally realised that i'm the only one who's bleeding, you seem so much happier that I'm caught up by this bitching. It then make me realised how stupid I am, you've already let go, I'm the one who can't give up on you and let go. It was really a lesson learned the hard way, a huge wake up call.
Sorry Py, i'm really guilty that I've gotten you into this. I can't describe how grateful I am to you, thanks for believing in me.
Sorry Joy, for keep getting sad and crying and needing you to cheer me up. At first, I don't understand why you can't understand how sad I am, it's like one of my best friend had betrayed me of course I am very sad. Who will be happy when you're accused with things you've never done? I feel so helpless. But after ytd's quarrel with you, I can finally understand why, like yeah now looking back, I don't understand why was I so sad too, why do i keep crying over it, why do I even freaking bother about those who no longer make up part of my life, those who can't wait to see me die, those who I don't care anymore. Don't worry darling, I've xiang tong alot. I will adopt your heck care attitude from now! I promise you I won't be sad over those stupid things anymore.
They say humans do forgive, but we don't forget. I've choose not to forgive nor forget, cause I don't even want to remember. Nothing to forget, nothing to remember in the first place, cause it's really not worth it. Don't have to act strong anymore, cause I won't even mention you guys again, will keep those sad stuff away from my memory. I would rather choose happiness.
I've finally moved on.
posted by Leonora at
7:02 PM
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